Monday, August 22, 2011

Separation and dress anxiety

One of my dearest friends is getting married next month… in Boston. I’m going stag, sans Hubby… and sans Quinn.

I’m having a bit of separation anxiety. I’ve never left Quinn for more a few hours before. Including travel time to and from the airport, I will away from him for approximately 39.5 hours. I’m not checking a bag so I can just exit the plane and jump in the car as soon as I return. I may pay extra for short-term parking since it’s closer to the terminal.

The Hubs is unable to come along. The wedding is on a Sunday, and he has an important work event in San Francisco the next day, and there’s no way we’d be back in time. So I would have to take Quinn to Boston by myself, and as much as I love Q, babies require constant attention. I wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy the wedding, and I certainly wouldn’t be able to stay through dinner. Seems like a long way to fly and still miss the bouquet toss.

Plus, the wedding is adults-only. I’m sure my friend would make an exception since I’m still nursing. But I have been a bride before (twice), and I firmly believe the bride gets what the bride wants.

I’m taking a red-eye from San Francisco to Boston on Saturday night, arriving early Sunday morning. Then I am catching the first flight home on Monday morning where I will find Quinn safe and sound in Grandma’s arms while Daddy is at work.

Will Quinn be sad? Will he miss me? Will he be mad at me for leaving him? He won’t forget me, right?

At five months-old, he’s very attached to Mommy. He gets upset when I leave the room for two minutes to use the bathroom. How is he going to be without me for almost two days?

I have a hard time leaving him for two hours to go to the gym. How am I going to be without him for almost two days?

39.5 hours away from him.

2,704 miles away from him.

I really am looking forward to seeing my friend walk down the aisle, to having a fun night with my girlfriends, to drinking more than a couple glasses of wine. And I know Q will be fine. He’ll be in good hands, and he’ll probably have an easier time of it than I will. And when I walk in the door on Monday, he will be happy to see me.

But the knot in my stomach is already forming. I know I’m going to cry the whole way to Boston.

To keep my mind off of leaving Quinn, I’m agonizing over what to wear instead. On Saturday, the day before the Boston wedding, we have another wedding to attend (locally, thank goodness.) We're leaving Wedding #1 a little early so I can catch the red-eye to Wedding #2. So that means I have to find not one, but two dresses to wear. Specifically, I must find two dresses that:

     A) Fit

     B) Allow me to easily whip out a boob without getting completely undressed, and

     C) Do not require a strapless bra

The first criterion will actually be the easiest to meet. Since Operation B4 has been successful thus far, I’m confident I can find a couple dresses in my closet that will fit, albeit with a forgiving A-line and some Spanx. My main concern is that criteria B and C directly conflict with each other.

I have to easily whip out a boob so I can nurse Quinn at Wedding #1 and periodically pump at Wedding #2. That means some sort of halter or strapless top. Anything with sleeves or straps will require me to unzip, and that requires assistance from the Hubs.

Then there’s the bra situation. Any nursing mother will tell you that trying to cram your post-baby, National Geographic boobs into a strapless bra is laughable. (I actually tried once this summer. Rookie mistake. It slid down to my waist in the middle of the grocery store. Awesome.) While a stray bra strap might be acceptable in a tank top on a lazy summer day, that look is not so appropriate for a wedding.

So if anyone has any ideas to help me address my dress dilemma, I’d love to hear them. Much to the Hubs’ dismay, some shopping may be in order. If not to solve my dress anxiety, than to serve as a little retail therapy for my separation anxiety.