Thursday, September 22, 2011

My Roadie

I’m not a singer or performer of any kind. I do not have lights surrounding my mirror. I do not require Evian water, Godiva chocolates and white roses. I do not demand that the room temperature be set at exactly 72.3 degrees. I will never grace a stage in front of thousands of adoring fans.

But I do have my own roadie.

The first time Hubs called himself my roadie, I laughed and shook my head. But after further contemplation, I realized he’s right. He is my roadie, and I am a lucky wife.

I know I already told you how awesome and handy Matt is around the house. He actually does even more now that we have a baby. He calls himself my roadie because he’s in charge of set-up and tear-down while I take on the role of entertainer for our six-month-old son, Quinn. For example, here’s how a typical night unfolds.

Matt keeps an early work schedule, so he’s home in time to prep dinner. This is usually about the time Quinn’s “witching hour” begins, so I entertain the baby while Hubs cooks. (Okay, so maybe I do sing and perform, but only for one small adoring fan.)

When Matt cooks dinner, he does it right. Yes, there’s the occasional frozen pizza, but he usually grills some sort of protein and steams some veggies. If Quinn will allow it, I might chop up a salad, but 99% of the time, Hubs does dinner solo.

I attempt to feed Quinn and myself at the same time so we can have dinner as a family. Although, I’m getting pretty good at eating with my left hand, this process does take awhile. While Q and I finish up, Matt starts washing the dishes and preparing Quinn’s bath. By the time Quinn is done eating, his bath is ready.

While I bathe the baby, Matt finishes cleaning the kitchen and then preps the nursery to put Quinn to bed. He brings in the boppy pillow, Lovey Dog and Quinn’s medicine. He turns off the portable A/C, turns on the sound machine and turns the lights down low. By the time I’m done bathing Quinn, his room is ready for bedtime.

While I get Quinn into his jammies, Matt takes on the daunting task of cleaning up the bathroom after Sir-Splash-A-Lot has annihilated it with water. When Quinn is ready for bed, Matt comes in to kiss his son goodnight.

While I read Q his bedtime story, nurse him and get him to sleep, Matt still stays busy. By the time the baby is asleep and I emerge from the nursery, Matt has the kitchen and bathroom clean, all the toys are picked up and put away, and everything is set out for me to prepare Q’s breakfast in the morning.

If we weren’t so exhausted, we’d give each other a high-five and a chest bump.

Hubs and I make a great team. I know I’m a lucky lady to have a partner who takes on so much. I listen to other new moms, and many of them have husbands who are too busy – at the office or in front of the TV – to offer the kind of support I receive from Matt.

When you become parents, the man and the woman both work 24-hours a day. Whether it’s in the home or outside the home, you both work from the moment you wake up until you finally go to bed. If you do get a break to sit and relax in front of the football game, or to go out with friends, it’s something you work out with your partner, not something to which you are entitled.

I think a lot of men believe, “It’s my responsibility to provide for my family. I go to work, I provide, I come home. Done.” While I understand that logic, it’s very 1952. Women don’t want a cave man, we want a partner. Here’s the 2011 version: “There’s X-amount of work to be done, and there is no more ‘his job and her job.’ We will both do whatever needs to be done.”

Luckily, Matt and I share a similar work ethic. He jumps in around the house because the work is done faster if we both do it. And the sooner it’s done, the sooner we can enjoy quiet time in the evening. His priority is spending time together as a couple, not lying on the couch while I continue working.

Matt also loves me and wants me to be happy. As my bloggy friend, Cynthia says, “a happy wife is a happy life.” Wise words. My Hubs’ mama didn’t raise no fool.

How do you and your partner divide household responsibilities? How did it change after you had kids?