Thursday, October 4, 2012

Happy together

Nov 2007: San Francisco
Hubs and I celebrated three years of wedded bliss yesterday. In total, we’ve been together for five years, and I can’t believe how much has changed and yet how much has stayed the same. From dating to cohabitating, then becoming home owners, then getting married, then having a baby, now raising a toddler and just getting older in general … all of that changes a couple.

Especially becoming parents. That has been the biggest event that has changed us as a couple. And for all you happily married non-parents, you should know that it’s not a one-time event when the baby is born and POOF!, you go through a huge change overnight and then it’s done. I mean, there definitely is that big overnight POOF!, but there are bigger, gradual changes that follow.

Being a parent for the first time brings an enormous amount of responsibility and, for me and many others, an enormous amount of anxiety. Your intense love for that baby reduces you down to your most fragile and vulnerable state. You and your partner are bare before each other like you’ve never been before, emotionally naked and exposed. Whatever feelings and fears you’ve buried deep rise to the surface, and you are raw.

In the eighteen months since Quinn was born, Hubs and I saw things in each other that we had never seen before. We became familiar with the darkness in both of us. It wasn’t always pleasant, but it was 100% “let-our-walls-down” honest, and for the first time we saw each other and ourselves for who we truly are.

And we still love each other. Madly.

For with that darkness comes such beautiful light, a light you cannot fully appreciate until you’ve witnessed its opposite. When I see Hubs being the incredible father that he is and the amount of love he has for our son, my heart swells. When we look at our sleeping baby on the video monitor and then share a satisfied smile, I feel our connection strengthen. When the three of us spend time together as a family – whether in the ocean waves or the living room floor – my cup runneth over.

If we didn’t have Quinn, Hubs and I probably wouldn’t argue as much, or be as stressed out, or feel pulled in so many different directions. But we also wouldn’t have had the happiest moments in our marriage. We wouldn’t have this amazing blessing of knowing a love this strong.

They say time flies when you’re having fun. Perhaps that’s why the last three years have sped by in a blur of activity, laughter and stolen sleep. But that’s okay. That just means it won’t be long before Hubs and I are growing old together, and I look forward to all the anniversaries, memories and changes along the way.

Oct. 3, 2009: Half Moon Bay, CA

Today, I’m re-posting a video with some of our wedding photos. By request, our photographer took mostly candid shots, and in doing so, he beautifully captured exactly who we were that day – two people with a deep connection and a fierce love for each other. Our hopes and dreams and great expectations are written all over faces as we grasp hands and step into the uknown together.

As the unknown continues to slowly unfold before us every day, we still cling to each other, still full of hope and love.

Related posts 
The Rules 
Our Engagement Story 
Our Wedding Story
The First Day of My Life 
My Wedding Dress Catastrophe 

Note: If you blow the video up to full screen, it will be super grainy because Blogger compresses it. Bummer. Also, if you're viewing this post in your email, the video won't show up at all because Feedburner is weird like that. Double bummer. Please click on the title of the post to view it in your browser. 

Note #2: If you’re a bride-to-be looking for a photographer (or a wedding photographer looking for a wedding), check out Wedding Photo USA. I met the guy who owns this business on my flight to Boston a few weeks ago, and he’s really cool. I recommended the website to my wedding photographer, so if you like my photos, hopefully you’ll find him on there! Wedding Photo USA is not compensating me in any way for this post. I just wanted to give the website a shout-out because I liked it so much, and I like to pass on awesome stuff to all you awesome people.


  1. you are so right about how things change tremendously after kids. for better AND for worse.
    you look beautiful in your pictures!

    1. Aw, thanks so much, Sherilin! The changes are so hard to put into words, but I know all you moms out there know exactly what I'm talking about!

  2. ahhh! what a lovely couple! thanks for sharing! xo

  3. Hi Melissa - I am happy to share that the intense love and emotional challenges that come with having a child just continues to evolve, along with your relationship with your spouse - but it evolves in a beautiful way. I enjoyed reading where you are at 3 years of marriage, because I feel the same way after 18 years of marriage, 4 moves, job changes, money troubles, health troubles, and all of the joys of watching our daughter grown into a young lady. Happy anniversary to you and many many more!! Lisa

    1. Oh, that's so wonderful, Lisa. I'm s happy you're happy. I read your blog, and it's obvious how much you love your husband and family. What a full and beautiful life. Xo!

  4. You guys are so beautiful! Happy anniversary!

  5. Happy, happy, happy anniversary, Melissa! All the best for continued happiness together....