Some people make specific new year’s resolutions, like to lose
twenty pounds, stop smoking or learn guitar. Others think resolutions are
pointless and don’t even bother making any.
In years past, I’ve tried both tactics, and neither has ever
helped me achieve any sort of self-improvement or increased happiness. So this
year, I thought I would try another method – picking a word/concept/theme to apply
to my life. From what I read, it really works.
So my word for the year is CHOOSE. This might sound
ridiculous or simplistic, but hear me out. We make choices all day every day. We
choose to do things or not. Big choices, small choices. Some significant, some
not. Because we are constantly making these choices, we often don’t realize
that we’re making them. We get into habits and routines, and we react seemingly
without thinking. But all of those actions (or inactions) are choices.
Remembering that everything is a choice is sort of freeing
in a way. I don’t have to be a slave to my routines, habits or reactions. I can
let go of all my excuses and just try.
So what does CHOOSE look like for me in 2013? First, I’m
choosing to be more positive. For example, that means choosing not to get all
bent when someone cuts in front of me in line at REI (like they did today). It
means choosing to give people the benefit of the doubt, choosing not to just react,
and choosing not to carry all that negative energy around with me. Sometimes
this will be easy. Usually it will be hard. I’ll fail a lot, but that’s okay. Eventually,
my habits and reactions will change, and letting go will be easier.
Second, in my never-ending quest to find a healthy equilibrium,
I’m choosing to not be a doormat.
I made a lot of progress years ago after my divorce, but I’ve recently
discovered that I still have a ways to go. I don’t have to stay quiet and let
the weight of resentment crush me in order to keep the peace. I also don’t have
to unleash total hellfire in order to protect my self-worth. When that knot
starts forming in my belly, that’s my cue to take a breath and make a better
choice than I would normally make.
Finally, I’m choosing to be healthier. Physical health and fitness have always been important to me.
But since Quinn was born, I’ve only been going to the gym sporadically because he hates the child care room
there and I have no one to watch him on a regular basis. So today I let go of
all my excuses and made the hardest choice of all. I, Melissa, who is so NOT-at-all-a-morning-person,
got up at 5AM and went to the gym before Hubs left for work. And it actually
felt good. I also found a bunch of home workouts for when Hubs is traveling and
Q is sleeping. And I’m going to choose to do them.
There are a million ways I can make better choices. Throughout
the year, I’m sure I’ll discover more and discard others. The point is that on December
31, 2013, I’ll be proud of the changes I made and happier with myself.
In the past, I always poo-poo’ed the idea of a resolution “word”
because I thought it seemed like a new year’s cop out. How is this even measureable?
What does success look like? I mean, losing twenty pounds, quitting smoking and
learning to play guitar are tangible, quantifiable goals and remarkable
accomplishments. But learning to choose? Really?
But maybe that’s exactly why this actually has a chance at
being successful. People tend to give up on resolutions. Once they begin to
slip, they feel guilty, beat themselves up, slip some more, feel like total
failures, and eventually say “screw it.” With the word method, I can apply it
to multiple areas of my life. Some will work, some won’t. But my chances of
having at least a little bit of success are pretty good.
With traditional resolutions, you take them pass/fail. You
either succeed all the way, or you don’t. With the word method, I feel like
there’s a grading scale, and I’d be happy with a “C” my first year. At least
that’s better than the usual big fat “F” I get every year after giving up on a
resolution. And maybe after a few years, I’ll get that A+. I’ll take slow
and steady progress over no progress at all.
And right now, I’m choosing to dump out the rest of this wine
glass (yes, really) and go to bed. My alarm is set for the ungodly hour of 5AM.
Good thing I didn’t choose to give up Red Bull. That’s just crazy talk.
Linking up with Mama Kat and Sisters from Another Mister today. Go visit them. Now! Go!
