Monday, June 3, 2013

All that DOESN'T glitter

So it’s official now. We had another ultrasound last week, and Baby Dragon is definitely a boy. The technician from the earlier ultrasound was right. (Damn, she’s good!)

Hubs and I are very happy to have another boy, and no there are no plans to try for a girl. In fact, there are definite plans to not try for a girl, which makes me a Dude Mom fo’ life, yo! (You should totally check out Dude Mom. She’s one of my faves.)

This will be great. We can reuse most of Q’s old clothes and toys, so won’t need to buy much. Q will have a little brother, and they can fight and hug it out and eventually become friends. It will be good for them to have each other.

I know there will be some fun things about having a daughter I will miss out on. There won’t be any late night talks when she tells me about the boy she likes. There won’t be any mother-daughter shopping trips or spa days or lengthy phone conversations. We won’t dress up like princesses or experiment with make-up together. No ballet classes with little pink tutus. (Yes, I know boys can take ballet, but isn’t getting adorable pictures of your kid in a tutu the whole point of ballet?)

But that’s okay. There are some upsides to not having a daughter. (If you have a daughter, you can stop reading this post now. In fact, I recommend you stop reading, unless you want a few more things to worry about.)

For example, the likelihood of having a glitter invasion in my house is dramatically decreased. I hate glitter. It’s the devil. If there was a way to ban it from the earth, I would do it. Boy stuff doesn’t usually come with glitter, and that makes me happy.

Boy toys are less complicated. I recently went shopping for my niece’s birthday present, and I was appalled by most of the girl toys I saw. The dolls were half naked and wearing too much make-up. (Have you seen Bratz dolls? So disturbing…) Or, if the toy didn’t include a skank-tastic doll, it involved glitter. These are basically your choices when it comes to girl toys: skanks, glitter, or skanks covered in glitter. No thanks, skanks.

Boy toys and TV shows also seem a little less weird. Q loves Team Umizoomi on Nick Jr., and we keep plenty of episodes recorded on the DVR. At the end, they show commercials for other shows, and one of them absolutely frightened me. Have you seen previews for Lalaloopsy? Dolls are sorta creepy anyway, but these dolls are super creepy. I’ll take fake bugs, fake barf, whoopee cushions, monsters, robots, dinosaurs, 850 little cars in the floor, mud, and noisy trucks over dolls any day.

Speaking of skank-tastic and creepy, I’ll rarely have to worry that what my sons wear outside of the house will attract some weirdo’s attention. As someone commented on this blog a while ago, with a son “you only have to worry about one penis and not EVERY. PENIS. OUT THERE.” Can I get an Amen?

So while I’m a little bummed that life around here will never include hair bows, tutus or white tights with cute little ruffle bottoms, being a boy mom is turning out to be pretty rad. Now if you’ll excuse me, Q has requested that I make up a story about him and Lovey Dog and a Transformer, so I need to go brush up on my Transformers knowledge. The Decepticons are the bad guys, right…?