After wading through all those crazy people on Care.com, I finally found a babysitter
I actually liked, but… I had to fire her.
I believe that she – let’s call her “Lana” – took well enough
care of Quinn, but she was unprofessional and irresponsible. I felt awful
firing her, but it’s my job is to protect Quinn, not Lana’s feelings.
So to help other young girls out there who are looking for
babysitting gigs, I put together this handy list of ten easy ways to get fired.
Lana smiled and nodded a lot in a “deer in the headlights” sorta way. She
never asked a question, which didn’t make her appear knowledgeable – it made
her seem too inexperienced to even know what to ask. She only gave one-word
answers to my questions, making dialogue about Quinn excruciating.
#3. Assume you know everything about children and don’t read any of your employer’s instructions.
#5. Take the child to a new place completely unknown to his parents without asking permission.
#8. Wear a see-through top so your employer – and her husband – know what your bra looks like.
#2. Let the child watch
hours of Cartoon Network.
On her first day, I sent Lana a text to check in. She replied that they were
watching cartoons. What? I’m paying
her $15 an hour so she can plunk my kid down in front of the television? Grrr… So this led to a discussion about
how much TV Quinn is allowed to watch and what shows are acceptable. (I.e, not Cartoon Network!)
#3. Assume you know everything about children and don’t read any of your employer’s instructions.
I gave Lana two and a half pages of brief, bullet pointed instructions,
which I don’t think is unreasonable for a nineteen year-old girl who’s never watched
Quinn before. And most of it was just a list of foods picky Quinn might eat. Lana
obviously hadn’t read it, and I asked her three times. Finally, I pushed the
papers in front of her said, “I expect you to follow this.”
#4. Put the child down
for a nap at anytime that’s convenient for you.
Even after finally reading my
instructions, Lana rarely stuck to the schedule. She put Q down for a nap at
11:30, so he woke up by 1:30. By dinner time, he was so over-tired he wouldn’t
eat, and our evening together wasn’t a lot of fun.
#5. Take the child to a new place completely unknown to his parents without asking permission.
Lana took Q on a walk to her house. Why?
I have no idea. I’m probably over-reacting, but I’ve never been to her house,
and I have no idea what her home life is like. For all I know, her mom has some
alcoholic, unemployed boyfriend that occupies the couch all day. (Yes, these
are the terrifying scenarios that run through a mother’s mind.) Most likely, her house is a perfectly safe
place, but I still didn’t like it.
#6. Give the child a stuffed
animal covered in a slimy brown substance and watch his germophobic
mother try not to throw up.
Q came home from Lana’s house with a small, stuffed bunny smudged with
brown sludge. I had no idea where this bunny had been, but it immediately went
into the washing machine.
#7. Show the child a scary
dragon on your cell phone, giving him nightmares.
Q started saying a dragon scared him. I asked where he saw the dragon, and
he said, “On Lana’s phone.” Lana said Q wanted to see a dragon, so she showed
him one. Q was probably trying to tell her about Baby Dragon’s ultrasound picture on the fridge, which I can see
how Lana might have misunderstood. However, when a kid is obsessed with something
that you’re not sure about, distraction is probably a better option, and a more
experienced sitter would’ve put that together.
#8. Wear a see-through top so your employer – and her husband – know what your bra looks like.
Oh. Yes. She. Did. I’m not just talking about a rogue bra strap, people. One
day, Lana wore a loosely crocheted top that had gaping holes without a cami or
anything underneath. At least her bra was white and not some lacy number. But
still, not something I really wanted my son to see, and definitely not something I want my husband to see when he comes
home!
#9. Three weeks into your
new job, inform your employer that you’re going overseas. For. A. Month.
I know going to Australia for a month is just something you do when you’re
nineteen, but I feel like you either travel overseas OR you get a summer job. A mom needs a babysitter she can depend
on.
#10. On your first day
back to work, show up late, lie about why you are late, and don’t offer an apology.
On her first day back after a month, Lana was 30 minutes late. I called her, and it was obvious I woke her up.
She made an excuse about her car acting up, but that it was working now and she
was on her way. When she arrived, she just breezed in the front door. As if she
hadn’t been gone for a month. As if she weren’t late. No apologies. I
understand being late for work sometimes – s**t happens. But don’t lie to me like I’m stupid! And even if she
was telling the truth about her car, she should’ve called to say she was
running late. And apologized, for heaven’s sake!
#11. BONUS: Show up late with
Starbucks in your hand.
Okay, so Lana didn’t actually do this one, but I’ve seen it happen, and it
annoys me. When you’re running late, you DO NOT have time to stop at Starbucks. I suppose maybe
you hit bad traffic or got lost after
you went to Starbucks, but if that’s the case, you better chug that s**t before
your employer sees you. It just looks bad.
