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| Photo Credit: Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton via photopin cc |
Ah. Good times.
It sounds like a fun idea in theory. If I invited all of my
friends to the same shin-dig, it would definitely not be the like a party
scene from Can’t Hardly Wait. My friends would be factioned off into groups, huddled into their respective
corners, only making eye contact with familiar faces.
There would be the “Work Friends from Company A” group and
the “Work Friends from Company B” group, and never the two shall meet. There
would be the “High School Friends,” the “Friends from College A,” and in her
own tiny square would be the one friend I still have from “College B.” Then
there would be “Grad School Friends.”
There would be the invaluable “Mommy Friends” I met
after Quinn was born, "Grad School Friends," and my “Bloggy Friends.”
All of the sudden this party seems really awkward and
complicated and not fun at all, which is why I’ve never actually had a birthday
party as an adult. The room would be divided into a grid, each group confining
itself to its assigned square, occasionally sending out a scout for beer.
As a feeble attempt to try and mitigate this awkwardness, I
would previously identify the best extroverts from each group and ask them to
try and infiltrate the other squares. They would be the ones making sure the
drinks were flowing and giving people topics to discuss.
The simple solution, one might offer, is to reduce the
number of guests to this make-believe party, to just knock out entire squares
of people. I agree that would eliminate some of the weird, but it would also
eliminate some very important people.
Every person in this complex friendship grid is important to
me. Asking me to choose between them would be impossible.
My High School
Friends remind me of where I came from and that so many good times occurred
during those rough years.
My friends from College A are a core group of girls I will
hold onto forever. No matter how our lives have changed, no matter how much
time goes by in between our conversations, I would drop everything and hop on a
plane for any one of them.
Transferring to College B when I moved to California was
hard. There was no way I could find substitutes for my friends from College A.
Plus, I didn’t live on campus, so there were all those shared experiences I
wasn’t a part of. But I still keep in close contact with one very dear friend
from College B, and she’s not one to stay in a square by herself all night. She
would come to the party and have a great time. She might even throw the party
because she’s awesome like that.
Work friends are important because they help keep you sane
when you’re surrounded by idiots. Soon, shared eye-rolls from across a
conference room table turned into lunch dates and Starbucks runs, which turned
into drinks after work, which turned into real, true friendships that lasted
long after each one moved on professionally. It’s not even accurate to refer to
them as work friends anymore.
The Grad School friends are a must because they’re the first
group of friends Hubs and I have together, the first group we can say are our friends.
My Mommy Friends have been
my rock for the last 3½ years and are proof that hazing really does work. Our
husbands even get along great. The joys and tears of being first time parents
have made us inseparable, and it wouldn’t be a party without them.
My Bloggy Friends are proof that online friendships are real
friendships whether you actually meet I.R.L. or not. This group of bloggers and
I have formed a tribe in which we support and encourage each other as writers, as
women, as moms, as professionals, as fellow human beings. I respect the hell outta
these ladies, and I am honored to know them.
So yeah, a birthday party with all my friends would be kinda
awkward. But this lucky girl would look out at that sea of diverse and loving
faces and have one Kick. Ass. Time.
My distinguished
tribe-mates all wrote about friendship this week, too! Check out their posts below
and share!
Phyllis
at The Napkin Hoarder: Making Friends
Kimberley
at Red Shutters: Musings on Friendship
Cheryl
at Busy Since Birth: First Friend
Danielle
at Another Version of Mother: My Phone People
