Tuesday, September 27, 2016

America, are we being Punk'd?

Like many of us, I watched the #PresidentialDebate last night. All 90 minutes of it. I kept waiting for it to happen. Perched on the edge of my seat… waiting. I was ready to jump up and joyously fist bump the air and then fall into hysterical laughter. It was going to be awesome, and it was going to happen any minute. I could feel it.

But then the debate ended, and what I was waiting for didn’t happen.

I sat there, stunned. That’s it? It’s over? How could it not have happened? The debate would have been the perfect opportunity for #AshtonKutcher to finally jump out from behind the curtain and yell what we’ve all been waiting to hear:

“America, you just got punk’d!”

Right??!! I mean, what is Ashton waiting for? For how much longer than this practical joke go on? This is definitely the best “punk” in the history of Punk’d, but if he doesn’t end this soon, people might end up actually voting for Donald Trump for president, and that would just … be… silly….

Wait, what do you mean? …. Of course, this is a joke! It has to be…. It’s not? Really? You mean Donald Trump is actually running for president and may actually win?

Okay, I need to sit down…. Where’s my wine? Someone hand me my wine!

Most days, I can make jokes about Donald Trump’s campaign for the presidency because it doesn’t feel real. Of course a racist, fascist dictator is NOT going to be in charge of the United States! Pshhhhhh! As if!


This is America, people! It’s 2016! We just had our first black president whose awesomeness absolutely cannot be followed by the likes of Trump. That’s just absurd! That’s some really good fiction right there…. Hahaha…Oh, I laugh.

Until reality hits me like a cannonball, and I read what Trump supporters are saying on social media, and I hear the words that come out of Trump’s mouth. Then the dread starts in my stomach and slowly spreads up to my head like a glacier, leaving me frozen in fear.
This so cannot happen. No. Freaking. Way.


Did you watch that show The Following on FOX with Kevin Bacon? I watched the first season, tried watching Season Two, but it was terrible, so I gave it up. Anyway, the show’s about a serial killer who has a cult following. His people love him. Women want to marry him. His followers even kill for him. I watched that show wondering how in the world people could follow such a sick, sadistic criminal like he’s a god.

Then Trump ran for president, and I had my answer. This man, who spreads so much fear, ignorance, and hate, has many adamant and vocal supporters, and that terrifies me to my very core. And so I keep joking about it, which is what one does when they’re scared. Even though it’s not funny at all.

I understand why some people do not want Hillary Clinton for president. Like all politicians, she has had triumphs and failures. But while one might not agree with everything she stands for, you cannot even compare Hillary to Trump, and I think last night’s debate was a clear testimony to that.

So, I’m going put the pillow of denial back over my head, pretend this isn’t even a contest and just assume that Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the United States. Because of course our first black president should be followed by our first female president. Right? I mean, that story for future history books basically writes itself.

In fact, I’m so convinced that Hillary will be our next president and not Trump that I’m sad she has Trump as her opponent. Because when she does win the election, her presidency will have an asterisk next to it that she doesn’t deserve. People will say, “Of course Hillary won the election. Did you see the idiot running against her? A bar of soap could have beaten out Trump for president!” Because that’s how big of a joke he is. And this has to be a joke… right?

Anytime, Ashton. We’re waiting….