Monday, November 7, 2016

Strong Women Are Not Likable

Crooked Hillary. Killary. Emails. She's not likable. 

And that's it. That's all Trumpsters can come up with. Through a bunch of bulls**t investigations, it's been confirmed that Hillary Clinton is actually not a crook, not a killer, and those emails were uninteresting #AF. 

Now the only item left to address is the whole not likable thing. So the day before the election, let's do that, shall we? Well, I'm rolling up my sleeves, putting on my serious face, and telling the truth in roughly 1,500 words.... Let's go.

Hillary is being called "the lesser of two evils" because she's... what?.... Unlikable? If I hear someone compare all of Trump's atrocities with Hillary Clinton being "unlikable" one more time, I will give you a verbal (or written) lashing like you have never experienced. Want to know why Hillary Clinton is so "unlikable?" Here are five reasons:

1. Because no one actually likes strong women. 

doesn't know her place
resting bitch face
the woman card
we know who wears the pants in that family
we don't need feminism anymore
too "in your face"
talks too much
must've slept her way to the top
Bill Clinton... 
she'd be so pretty if....
that pantsuit
never smiles
smiles too much
too emotional
= unpresidential

All of these things (and worse) have been used to describe Hillary Clinton simply because she's a strong woman. Of course, we hear lots of people (women and men) say things like, "I love a strong woman." Yeah, until they are with one. Then all of the sudden, we hear the terms and phrases above. Those strong women we love in theory, but not in reality, become the subject of our shaming. And certainly not capable of being POTUS. "Because what if she's PMS-ing and hits the nuke button?" (Insert throat punch to the Trumpster who actually said that.)

I think we can all agree that for a human to achieve a position of power, there are certain attributes that person must possess. Newsflash, Hillary possesses all of the qualities our country's leader must have and then some. The problem is, she also possesses a vagina. Suddenly all of those exemplary leadership qualities become "unlikable." 

I defy anyone to tell me exactly why Hillary Clinton is so unlikable - or a killer - or a crook - without using any sexist rhetoric, falsehoods, or misinformation. And without Googling anything. It's sort of like how lots of people who live gluten-free can't articulately explain what gluten is.

2. Hence, leadership qualities are not attractive in a woman.

A strong woman does not put up with bulls**t. In fact, she will call you on your bullsh**t and expect you to do something about it if you want her respect. Don't even try to give it to her to fix for you. Whining and crying get you zero sympathy. 

A strong woman does not suffer fools. Ain't nobody got time for that. See above. 

A strong woman recognizes a no-win situation for what it is and makes the tough call for the greater good. Then, when she's alone, her kind and loving heart has a good cry about it. Because she's not actually made of stone. 

A strong woman sees through your song and dance like a damn window, rolls her eyes, and dismisses

A strong woman will not be manipulated, controlled, or worn down. 

A strong woman cares not whether you think she's hot enough to f**k. She doesn't want to f**k you anyway, and that pisses you off. 

A strong woman is responsible for All. The. Things. Except the male ego. She's not going to allow herself to be responsible for that. There's no laughing at jokes that aren't funny, or pretending she needs help when she doesn't, or politely deferring to the man she's with. She will not flirt to make a man like her. She's too busy getting s**t done to coddle a grown person's ego. With her, a man's just going to have to own his own manhood.

A strong woman is confident in her decisions, and she does not apologize for being right, even if you might not like that. 

A strong woman is intimidating, like your mama. 

A strong woman may not possess the qualities that are traditionally considered attractive in a woman. She might not be sexy, nurturing, sweet, cute, peppy, demure, polite or domestic. Or if she is, she may keep those qualities hidden from the public because anything feminine is considered a weakness. 

It's not the president's job to sit in the oval office and look pretty. It's their job to be the f**king president. 

3. Yo mama

Raise your hand if you were raised by a tough, no-nonsense mama. She wasn't there to be your friend or stroke your ego. Her job was to make sure you turned out to be a good person and not a detriment to society. And if she had to ground your ass, withhold the car keys, initiate consequences, lay down the law, and make you regret ever crossing her, then so be it. She did her job. Yet you still love your mama. 

Hillary Clinton is kinda like that. Tough as nails, but you gotta respect her for it. Maybe seeing her at the podium looking all stern and serious triggers some buried mommy issues for you? I can see why that may be the case for a lot of people, especially the fellas. The thought of seeing a woman hold the highest position in the world might make your inner child freak the crap out. 

Okay, breathe. Please take a moment and remember that you're all grown up now, and Hillary is not your mama. She is exactly what this country needs at this moment. You know, with all the Trumpsters proudly waving confederate flags and throwing around the c-word, rapists getting slapped on the wrist, police officers shooting unarmed black citizens, etc. The U.S. needs someone like your mama to get people right. Yes, you have your issues with Hillary, but you can respect her and even love her. And call her on her birthday. 

4. Math is hard for some very entitled people. 

Whether you like it or not, Americans are subjected to a two-party system. That means every four years, we have to choose between exactly two candidates for the highest ranking position in the land. TWO. That's it. Yes, that sucks, but it's what we've got.

Now consider that there are almost 325 million people in the United States. The elitist expectation that one of only two candidates should embody every single thing that little ol' you believe in and should mirror your unique value set exactly.... well, that's just bad math. The odds of that happening are... let me think... never. Laws of Probability ringing any bells? 

You don't have to agree with every single thing Hillary stands for in order for her to be 100% competent and qualified to be POTUS. Which. She. Is. 

5. By not making it about gender, they're making it all about gender.

The indignant among us say, "I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton just because she's a woman." (Uh, okay, cool. No one's asking you to.) Because - even though having a female president would be totally fine with them (Mmm hmm, suuuure....) - they're not going to vote for just any woman just to have a female president. And to prove that they are not buying into the "woman card" rhetoric, they're not voting for Hillary.... because she's a woman. 

This circular, sexist way of thinking hurts my very smart lady brain.

Okay, fine. Then vote for her because she's a PERSON who just happens to be a woman who just happens to be insanely qualified to do this job. And if anyone accuses you of "voting the woman card," remember that's just patriarchal language designed to make women stay small. 

To review, Hillary Clinton is NOT the lesser of two evils.

You feel slighted because you have to choose between Trump and Hillary? You really can't see the vast differences between the quality of their characters as human beings? Wha...what the WHAT??!!

I'm tired of hearing that we are screwed either way. No! If Trump wins this election, we are so f**king screwed. If Hillary wins this election, we can all breathe a sigh of relief and collectively unclench our a**holes. 

In all honesty, I originally wanted Bernie. Yep, really. And I hate Trump with a passion that kinda wants him to be crucified upside down. But I am in no way settling for Hillary. She's amazing, and I would choose her over ANY currently viable Republican or third party candidate. And it's not because she's a woman. I mean, if this were somehow a Trump vs. Sarah Palin election (yes, I'm aware that they both call themselves "Republicans," but we all know that Trump actually isn't, so just go with the metaphor), I'd be all cozied up on my couch in Canada right now. 

Hillary Clinton is not the lesser of two evils. It's a privilege to have the opportunity to vote for her to be CEO of the United States. She is all things presidential, undeniably strong, and perfectly "unlikable."  #I'mWithHer